Saturday, August 6, 2011

Babysitter Love

A 20-year-old baby sitter from Clinton, already facing charges for allegedly sexually assaulting a 14-year-old boy in that town, now faces similar charges in Southington.

Loni Bouchard, of 133 West Main St., turned herself in to Southington police on July 29, said Sgt. Lowell DePalma. She is charged with second-degree sexual assault and risk of injury to a minor for allegedly assaulting a 14-year-old boy there who is known to her.

Police in Southington were contacted by Clinton authorities on June 30, and a warrant was issued for Bouchard's arrest. Police say she had a sexual relationship with a 14-year-old boy she was hired to baby-sit.

The 20-year-old babysitter is said to have given the teenager alcohol before having intercourse with him. She is now facing charges of sexual assault, after the boy's family found out about the alleged act.

Bouchard had been hired to act as a babysitter for the boy, but the relationship allegedly evolved into a sexual affair that lasted some six months, at which point his mother learned of the romance and reported the matter, police said.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Dating thru XBOX

A California woman was sentenced to serve 12 years in prison for the rape of a 13-year-oldBel Air boy she met while playing a game on X-Box Live.

Rachel Ann Hicks, 37, of the 21000 block of Osterman Road in Lake Forest, Calif., was indicted in March on two counts of second-degree rape and one count each of second-degree sex offense and second-degree assault.

Hicks pleaded guilty June 2 to a single count of second-degree rape.

Harford County Circuit Court Judge William O Carr sentenced Hicks Wednesday to the maximum of 20 years before suspending eight years of that sentence. She will serve 12 years in the Maryland Division of Corrections and serve five years of supervised probation upon release. As conditions of her probation, she is ordered to have no contact with the boy or his family and to have no unsupervised contact with anyone younger than 18, according to a release from the Harford County State's Attorney's Office.

She is also ordered to undergo sexual offender treatment and register as a sex offender for the rest of her life.

"We have an obligation to protect our boys from on-line solicitation and on-line predators in the same way we protect our girls," Prosecutor Diane Adkins Tobin said at sentencing, according to the release.

The boy's father said during a victim impact statement that his son was manipulated into trusting Hicks and she took advantage of him, physically and mentally abused him, and devastated the family by sneaking into their home while the family slept and sexually abusing their child, according to the release.

Hicks and the boy met while playing X-Box Live in September 2010.

The two of them discussed his age and activities in the seventh grade, then the relationship progressed to telephone conversations and text messages. During these conversations, she told the boy she was 23 years old.

For the Thanksgiving holiday, Hicks drove from California to Florida to visit relatives and on her way back, stopped at the boy's home in Maryland during the early hours of Nov. 27, 2010 to visit him.

That night, while the family was asleep, the boy let her into the home and the two went to his room, played video games and engaged in sexual acts, including intercourse.

The boy's father found the text messages on the boy's phone and took the case to the Harford County Child Advocacy Center. Hicks later admitted to the boy's father over the phone that she met the boy through the game and engaged in sexual relations with the boy.

source :,0,7842041.story

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Vodka is dangerous

An Oakmont woman whose brother is accused of killing a man she brought home from a bar will face a preliminary hearing next week on charges she raped a friend's son.
Allegheny County police charged Nattale Turner, 34, with rape, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, furnishing alcohol to minors and other crimes. 
According to the criminal complaint, Nattale Turner gave the 14-year-old boy a cocktail of orange juice and vodka in April. The boy said he and Turner were drunk when they allegedly engaged in sex acts. A 14-year-old told police he began drinking with Turner one night during spring break in April while his father was out of town, according to a complaint filed against Turner. 
The victim said he had about five vodka drinks when Turner began kissing him and touching him inappropriately, the complaint said. Turner told the victim she was too drunk to walk and asked for help getting up the stairs, the complaint said.
Once upstairs in her room, Turner removed her clothes and raped the victim, the complaint said. The victim told police, "I just let it happen," according to the complaint.
The next morning, the victim said he threw up for hours and eventually told Turner what happened, the complaint said. She said, "I'm so sorry. I'm a child molester now," the complaint said.
A preliminary hearing was continued on Monday because the victim was not available. The hearing is scheduled for Aug. 1.
County police in February charged Turner's brother, Vito Pelino, with killing and dismembering William King, 23, of Penn Hills. Police said Pelino picked up King from Turner's apartment after King and Turner left a bar together.
Pelino took King to Pelino's mother's home in Verona and killed him, police said.


and at the bottom of the food chain for romance - just because they're over 45 - Daily Mail

When it comes to romance, we all like a happy ending — which is what makes a new blog by an older, single woman such a heart-wrenching read.

The woman, who is divorced but says she would love to be married again, describes herself as being ‘on the wrong side of 45 with a brace of kids’ and bewails her place in ‘relationship no-man’s land’, condemned to be alone for the rest of her days.

She writes under the name ‘The  Plankton’, explaining that, like the plankton in the ocean, she is barely visible and ‘at the bottom of the food chain for love and relationships’.

Growing problem: Many over-45s describe themselves as 'invisible' to the opposite sex

Her outpourings, which convey with unflinching honesty the huge difficulties older women can face finding a man, have caused quite a stir on women’s internet chat forums. They have certainly proved a talking point among my single women friends.

‘I almost wept when I read her blog about going to a wonderful party hoping to meet someone,’ my friend Ruthie explained. ‘I have felt like that so often. You know you are being unrealistic and that it won’t happen — yet when it doesn’t, you can’t help being disappointed.’

Ruthie is 47 and one of the most attractive women — of any age — that I know. Never married, she has a son James, now 13, by a man she parted from before her son was born. Ruthie has been looking for a boyfriend for the past decade. 

Ruthie thought that she would have lots of boyfriends when she got older - just as she did in her younger years - but found this was not the case

‘I always had boyfriends when I was younger and assumed I would again after James was born,’ she says. ‘When he  was three, I started chatting online. These chats were fun — and sometimes quite flirty — but if I ever suggested  we meet, the men would often back  off, saying they were not looking for a relationship.’

A dozen or so dates followed over the years, none of them quite right. When she last registered with an online dating site she was 44 — and few men made contact. ‘Forty is a huge cut-off point for a lot of men,’ Ruthie explains. ‘There was just one I met and we had a fantastic evening. I was surprised afterwards when he didn’t get in touch.

‘Six months later, he did contact me. It turned out he’d seen some other women when he saw me and gone on to have brief relationships with them. When those relationships failed, he came back to me and I just felt, “He’ll be off again”, so I didn’t pursue it.’

Divorce in England and Wales in the 45- plus age group rose by more than 30 per cent between 1997 and 2007

For people like me — I’ve been married and out of the dating game for nearly 20 years — the idea that there are vast numbers of single women, but no single men, seems nonsensical. Official statistics reveal that among those aged 45 to 64 there are equal numbers of men and women living alone, it is only in the 65 and over age group that the lone women outnumber men — and that’s easily explained by the fact that men die younger. So what’s going wrong?

The imbalance, it seems, is because middle-aged men are  looking for partners who are far younger than them. ‘A man can pick from a wider pool of women — his age and under, by several decades,’ The Plankton writes. ‘I have a friend in her late 30s who lives with, and has children by, a man in his mid-60s. He is paunchy with grey chest hair and not especially rich. He plucked her from a surfeit of willing women, watching him like vultures before my friend “got” him.’

This may be the case in some  circles, but is it generally true? Sadly, yes, according to Dr Bernie Hogan, a research fellow at Oxford University. He pointed me towards a research website called OkTrends, which draws on data supplied by more than a million members of OkCupid, one of the biggest dating websites in the world. In a report entitled The Case For An Older Woman, it states that 45-year-olds have a much harder time finding romance because ‘the male fixation on youth distorts the dating pool’. 

Age game: Research has shown that middle-aged men are looking for partners who are far younger than them, examples include Michael Douglas, 66 and his wife Catherine Zeta Jones, 41

The typical 42-year-old man will accept a woman up to 15 years younger, but no more than three years older — and the women he enters into online conversation with are almost always at the younger end of the spectrum. The typical woman, by contrast, states she’d like to meet a man a few years older or younger than herself — and these are the men she contacts.

These attitudes explain why many over-45s — including The Plankton — describe themselves as ‘invisible’ to the opposite sex. Charlotte Phipps is divorced and lives in Newmarket, Suffolk. Aged 53, she works as  a secretary. ‘The hardest time for me is when I come home from work  at six o’clock,’  she says.

‘My two terriers run barking to greet me, but apart from them, there  is silence. I own a lovely two- bedroomed cottage with a beautiful garden, which I enjoy, but night after night I sit  on my own watching TV. It is incredibly boring and I am lonely. Whenever I go out, men do not tend to look at me. I’ve lost a lot of confidence.’

The opportunities to meet other single people tend to peter out as we move from youth to middle age, according to Bernie Hogan. ‘Over 40, most of the people you meet socially will already be in a relationship,’ he points out. Which is why online is increasingly regarded as the place where over-40s will have the greatest chance of success.

After scores of dodgy dates, Charlotte Cory, found Kevin Parrott although they seemed to have little in common

Bernie Hogan’s department, the Oxford Internet Institute, surveyed 25,000 couples in 19 countries — including the UK — who had been living together for over a year. Of those who had got together within the past 15 years and were aged 40 or over when they met, four out of ten had met online.

But online dating has its own set of rules — and sometimes  brutal behaviour. Sarah Browne is 46 and works in communications for a skincare company. She lives in a large Edwardian balcony flat in Brighton. Sarah has no children and has never married.

‘I keep trying to date men over the internet, but it is often hopeless,’ she says. ‘I can’t count the times a guy has seemed really keen to arrange a date, and then, with sometimes only five minutes to go, I get a text saying sorry, he  can’t make it. I’ve been told they cry off as they have met someone more suitable.’

Yet it’s not always doom and gloom. Charlotte Cory, a writer and artist, left her husband after 20 years and, at the age of 50, started surfing for love online. ‘There are still some very nice men out there, looking to share their lives with women their own age,’ Cory insists.

Some older women may be missing out on the chance of finding love, she thinks, because, bruised and rejected in earlier relationships, they lack the confidence and persistence to keep dating until they find  a match. Lots of people are self- punishing,’ she told me. ‘They go out with a few people and say, “It doesn’t work”, but I have met so many people who have done as I did — and are  blissfully happy.’

After scores of dodgy dates, Cory found Kevin Parrott: ‘On our first meeting, he handed me his card,’ she recalls. ‘I read  “Professor Parrott” and nearly  fell off my chair laughing. I said, “If I marry you, I’m going to have to change my name to Polly.”’ When they did marry, two years later, she signed herself ‘Polly’ in the register.

Older women may also be scuppering their chances by being too picky. In Cory’s case, she had low expectations of her initial meeting with Kevin because they seemed to have little in common: Kevin is a maths professor,  while Cory only scraped maths  O-level — and he’d listed ballroom dancing among his interests.

Many studies suggest men who become single after years of  marriage are quick to find a new mate, while women are more cautious

However, there can be a more subtle reason why many women who say they’d love to find a man remain single. ‘Some just don’t want to make the compromises that having a man can mean,’ says Dr Maye Taylor, a counsellor and life coach.

‘Many studies suggest men who become single after years of  marriage are quick to find a new mate, while women are more cautious. For some, it amounts to a positive decision to remain single.’

I contacted The Plankton and she said the huge response to her lament proves there are many older women who feel just as she does. ‘I have had so many comments saying that finally someone has come out and said the unsayable, the self-same thoughts they’ve had for so long, but never voiced to a soul in the world,’ she told me.

‘Perhaps the most moving of all was the one who said she was going to have to unsubscribe to my blog, not because she didn’t agree with it, but because it  said everything she had ever thought and reduced her to tears every day and she couldn’t cry  any more!’

So behind this deep sense of loss and disappointment lie many  reasons why older women miss out — male attitudes, the dearth of social opportunities, the emotional investment needed to date successfully online.

And many, perhaps even The Plankton herself, would simply rather be alone than with the wrong man. So, no matter how much we might all wish it, when it comes to affairs of the heart, for the older single woman, there just isn’t a happy ending every time.


GenJuice CEO On What Makes Women Better Entrepreneurs Than Men - Huffington Post

GenJuice CEO Arielle Patrice Scott decided at an early age that she wanted to be the next Mark Zuckerberg.

Like Facebook CEO Zuckerberg, Scott co-founded her first company, InternshipIn, while in college. Unlike Zuckerberg's startup, however, Scott's venture didn't grow into a multibillion-dollar behemoth -- by her own admission, it failed -- and unlike the famous Harvard dropout, Scott graduated from the University of California, Berkeley, last year.

The other key difference: while Zuckerberg, like so many Web startup CEOs, is a white man, Scott is an African-American woman, part of a still-underrepresented group in the tech industry. Last year, 21 percent of startups seeking angel investments were women-owned ventures, while minority-owned businesses made up just 6 percent of entrepreneurs seeking funding, according to the Center for Venture Research.

Yet Scott has not found her race or gender to be obstacles in her career as a tech entrepreneur. She sees women in tech as having certain characteristics that give them an advantage, and instead describes her lack of formal engineering training as her greatest handicap.

"What creates challenges is that I'm a business person, not an engineer," Scott explained. "I'm insecure about being a female entrepreneur who doesn't have an engineering degree, as opposed to a female entrepreneur, in general. As a woman, you do want to assert yourself as capable, and being as technical as possible allows you to feel the most confident."

Scott says her year-old company, GenJuice, which grew out of her senior thesis, aspires to be the "next MTV," a platform for up-and-coming 20-something writers, artists and tastemakers to "discover and be discovered." GenJuice aims to attract talented young bloggers with the promise that posting their work to GenJuice's site will allow them to grow their audiences and monetize their content.

"I grew up in a very poor neighborhood, raised by a single mother, and my love affair with tech began when I realized that it was a huge equalizer," said Scott of her inspiration. "There was so much access I could have, just from having access to an Internet connection."

In an exclusive interview for The Huffington Post's Women in Tech series, Scott shared her take on what it takes to be an entrepreneur, how to increase the number of African Americans in tech, and how to analyze failure.

There arguably still isn't a female Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates. Why not?
Women don't think big enough. I hate to overgeneralize, because I've met some incredible women lately, especially in Silicon Valley, but there's typically this sense of, "Let's just start off small and see where it goes." I think men tend to think in bigger terms, and women don't allow themselves to.

What's the biggest challenge you've faced as an entrepreneur?
When you're building a startup, you have some idea of how to generate revenue and part of that is approaching Fortune 500 companies, which is scary and hard. Getting in the door is difficult, and then actually closing something is one of the hardest things you will do. Building a product is easy, tracking users is also easy, raising money is even easy; but walking in to that door of a Fortune 500 company as a 22-year-old is really intimidating.

Are there any skills that women have that make them better entrepreneurs than men?
Yes. I think women understand user experience a lot more. This could be overgeneralizing women way too much, and there are a lot of people on both sides, but I do see it.

I think women just understand how to build great products that solve real problems, whereas I do think that a lot of my male counterparts think about the tech more. They think, "This is really cool," or "This is really fast." A lot of women entrepreneurs can solve problems because they understand the feelings and needs of a user more so than men.

Are there challenges that women face in tech that men don't?
I don't pay attention to any of it. I forget that I look different or am different than anyone else who goes to the investor meetings I go to. If women in tech have any more problems than men do in this industry, as a 20-something just getting started, I'm not noticing it because I don't care. I'm going to do this anyway.

I think people judge the fact that I'm young; or that I'm a business person, not an engineer; or that I'm African-American and not Asian.

Are there unique challenges that African-American entrepreneurs face?
No. Sometimes it's helpful: because there are so few of us out there, there's a stronger sense of a community. As a woman, I've had a lot of resources through things like Women 2.0 or this interview. Sometimes I feel like we're in a stronger position because we have more resources.

Why do you think there aren't more African Americans in tech?
There's not enough of a focus on tech or computer science within black communities, both in school and in general. I have friends who are really smart, and they decide to go into civil engineering or mechanical engineering, and then they go work for big companies. There needs to be more emphasis placed on computer science and electrical engineering in schools that attract African Americans.

SOUND BYTES: Arielle Patrice Scott on...

Her indispensable gadget: Her iPhone

Her favorite app: NYCmate (Her favorite Web app: Hype Machine)

Her favorite Twitter account: GenJuice co-founder Danielle Leslie (@DanielleLeslie)

Her "required reading" recommendation: Dale Carnegie, How To Win Friends And Influence People

What's the most important thing we could do to increase the number of African Americans in tech?
We need to de-emphasize the traditional way of teaching that's in schools now. We should have a focus on incubator programs, where you go in and you have a project and something you actually need to build. If there were incubator programs within schools today, and a focus on building products, people would understand what goes into those products and what it means to be an entrepreneur. You can't learn how to be an entrepreneur from a book, you can only learn from doing it.

What's the most important thing we can do to increase the number of women in tech?
I think there needs to be a huge campaign around the sexiness of this lifestyle. I'm having the time of my life. My co-founders and I are loving life right now. It's stressful as s--t, but it's also so much fun because you get to see your work. You get to talk and meet some of the most interesting people ever.

I think more women and people of color would be interested in this type of work if we could do away with the current idea of what a "geek" is. The concept of a Web entrepreneur should not be three white men with glasses sitting in a garage 12 hours a day staring at a computer screen. Being an entrepreneur is fun, and if people saw how sexy it is, then they would get into it. I don't want to take away from the fact that it's hard, but sitting in a room with your co-founders pulling all-nighters is fun.

What's the essential quality you need to have to be an entrepreneur?
You need the ability to not accept failure, but to accept the pivot. It's more than likely that you're not going to get it right the first time, so it's important to be able to recognize where you failed and where you need to change the business.

There are way too many people who give up too soon or give up too late -- knowing when to quit is so important. We've failed so many times, but we also knew when that failure could turn into something else. An entrepreneur needs to know how to analyze a failure.

How do you do that? What information is needed to understand and analyze failure intelligently?
You need to track a variety of metrics, such as how long people stay on your site or how many sign-ups you get from different avenues, such as Facebook or Twitter. Tracking metrics helps you build the business using real data and establish better relationships with stakeholders.

Another way to get feedback is to put together eight or nine one-liners about your product before going to a networking event. You can try out different one-liners and see how people respond. Being able to communicate your story in one sentence is important because that's how people learn about your product.


View the original article here

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Reverse Discrimination? You Betcha! (Revenge Is Sooo Sweet) - Montreal Gazette (blog)

This is a P.S. to the preceding post here:

Yes, the moral of that somewhat naughty post is “Revenge is sweet.”

How so?

Well, a lot of 50somethings and 60somethings would happily and discreetly bed transitioned women and various T-folks, but they wouldn’t have an open relationship with any of us because, as I mentioned, it would be the end of the world as we know it. Heaven forbid what their friends might think.

In my case, I would be happy to have a real partnership with a man in his 50s or 60s, understanding, of course, that he doesn’t have the sexual firepower of a YOUNGER man. No matter. The relationship would be about much more than shallow sex, right?

But since shallow sex is all some of these men want with me and others like me, no deal! Who needs them? If we just wanna have sex, we can get it from younger guys with more stamina and firepower.

So, yes, it is reverse discrimination. I’m discriminating against the guys who discriminate against me.

Does it feel good?

Well, yes, and no — because let’s face it, none of those older guys are reading this blog, and therefore don’t have a clue about any of this.

But older single women — the natal type and the transitioned type — who are fed up with shallow old farts might consider enjoying the offerings of some of the younger, albeit also shallow, guys. I mean, they have more stamina and all that — you know what I am talking about. Lordie, some of them are so sweet, too . . . But that’s something to talk about another time.

Smiles again on this warm summer night.

Maybe I should have titled this post: In the Heat of the Night?




Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Will Cougar Town get a Name Change?

The ABC TV hit, Cougar Town, may still get a name change according to one of its stars -- Busy Phillips. Just what that name might be; however, no one seems to have a clue.

The ABC comedy has changed a bit since it began airing. That's when the emphasis was on an older woman -- a cougar -- chasing after a younger man. Some American women stayed away from the show in droves to protest the use of the term "cougar". Many still find it offensive. However, that isn't the reason spurring talks of a name change according to those in the know. The fact is that the term doesn't necessarily apply anymore.

Besides a name change, the show could also get a change in night and time. Cougar Town has been safely ensconced behind Modern Family. That allowed it some carry over from that hit show. However, it also skewed the ratings slightly. Cougar Town could never successfully live up to its lead-in. Some feel that by moving it to another night, the show can shine on its own. But are they right?

Granted the name change, if it happens, might convince those who haven't watched the show before to give it a try. However, it is doubtful that will be enough to make up for the lost carry over audience from Modern Family. Also, fans of Cougar Town could get confused trying to find the show under its new name, if there is one. It makes for a dilemma. All that's left is to hope that network execs know what they are doing with whatever decision they choose to make.


Monday, August 1, 2011

Dear Abby | Hateful old woman abuses her neighbors - Kansas City Star

He wants to be a dad
DEAR ABBY: I am a 34-year-old man. I have been divorced for a couple of years and have no children. I have been dating an incredible woman, “Nikki,” who is a bit older than I am. She has three children.
The elephant in the room has always been whether Nikki would want more children. We finally discussed it, and she confirmed that she does not. She said she’s looking forward to the next phase of her life as her kids get older, which I understand. That conversation has led to a break in our relationship. We haven’t spoken for the past two weeks, and it seems like two years.
I am struggling with what to do. I have always wanted to be a dad. Would being a stepdad be as fulfilling for me? Is being in a good relationship more important? Having kids doesn’t automatically make things great, right? Could I find someone as wonderful as Nikki, but who wants to have a kid?
Abby, I’m conflicted, and you’re the only one I could think of for advice. — Jumbled in New Hampshire

DEAR JUMBLED: Only you can decide whether being a stepfather to Nikki’s children would be enough for you. For some men, it would be. For others, it wouldn’t be enough. Of course, the primary relationship must be between the husband and wife. Children grow up, leave and establish lives of their own. And you’re right, having kids doesn’t “automatically” make things great if there is trouble in the relationship.
While there are no guarantees you will find someone as wonderful as Nikki, the odds are very good that you will meet a woman — or more than one — whose goals are similar to yours and who would love to have a family with you. But it won’t happen until you firmly decide exactly what you want.



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