How to Spot a Cougar ?

She moves stealthy. Today’s quarry is just a few feet away.  She’s a veteran in this hunt, and knows where to seek the freshest of all meat.  Slowly, she circles her prey, undetected. One wrong move and it may slip out of her grasp.  She mentally prepares herself, knowing that within seconds the chase will be on. And then at the right moment…she pounces, red painted claws extended; but instead of a roar a, “Hi my name is…” escapes from her perfect pout.  Her prey succumbs to her charms and for our lucky Cougar it’s another job well done.
All around me I’ve noticed a new trend, well maybe not so new considering the nature of the trend, older women and younger men.  Some say it keeps them young, some say its less politics; some say its better sex.  Whatever the reason, these sugah mamas are out in full effect and by the rate of how things are moving there is a whole lot of retired sexy coming back in the 2010.
Of course there’s nothing wrong with semi-young love, unless of course you happen to cross a Cougar.  Mothers Hide Your Sons! She lurks out in the dark, waiting patiently and purposively for a young, succulent piece of meat. A vixen in a former life, looking to make a cameo in this one; she might be old but she’s most definently not cold. Younger prey is her turn on, often times younger than any of her own cubs.  Part superiority complex, part fountain of youth, a Cougar  is a breed of older woman that lives for the company of a younger man.

How To Spot A Cougar Out In A Crowd
1. She visits college campuses regularly, but she’s not on faculty or staff
2. She’s the only person at the retirement party “walking it out,” and “pop, lock, and dropping it.”
3. She has posters of the latest teenie bopper male vocal group plastered all over the  walls of her Victorian Style Home
4. Her theme song is “Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number”
5. She’s more excited about the rookies in the NFL draft than anybody else
6. When the DJ announces if you’re 25 and over put your hands up, she politely keeps her hands down
7. Her latest boyfriend was young when Sega Genesis was new
8. The only oldie she’ll admit to knowing is “Let’s Chill” by Guy
9. Her clothing is never age appropriate and borders on being tacky, even for a stripper
10. She regularly greets the lawn boy at the door with a coke and smile.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...